The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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