K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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