Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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