Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I FOUND THE LEGS
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
