You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
