You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
