Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
