i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
