margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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