I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
