i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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