Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
