you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
