He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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