It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
well, you know. whores of a feather.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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