8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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