yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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