I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
