I need help removing her.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
