Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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