YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
