her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
