So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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