I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
