I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
