I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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