She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
