did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
