I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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