oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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