oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
