my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
