just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
