hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
