splinters make it hard to masturbate
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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