Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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