just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
