no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize