i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
