He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
