who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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