I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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