in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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