Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
