Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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