i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
