how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
