Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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