Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
