I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
and she was petting her beer can
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oh god it's open bar.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
